To bring you this newsflash, the Penarazzi has been staying up until half past nine, visiting the bank three hours before it opens to complain about ATM charges, and busting the floral numbers out of mothballs to visit local bingo games.
A new gang has taken to walking the streets — mostly walking, some are limping and others are getting about in electric scooter chairs — and this group discriminates like no other. They are known as B.R.A.G. (Blue Rinsed Agitated Grandparents) and they are a collective of angry, confused, over-medicated senior citizens.
Bluesandbarebones was the first make a slip by fondly referring to the 1980s. Most people in the Tumblr community have been comfortable in the ignorant belief that the 80s are simply a horror story told to children to scare them out of experimenting with lycra and denim ensembles, but the 80s really happened. BRAG is a positively terrifying alliance of hearing-aid-toting codgers who not only know the 80s were a real thing, but actually enjoyed living through them.
BRAG started to make waves in the TWC today when MustangKate also put out a public call for new members. It is believed that public recruiting has been required due to most of the elderly prospective members forget to attend underground recruitment drives or simply choose to knit instead.
Even more terrifying is the revelation that AQuietJoy, leader of The Coven, has taken a role high in BRAG’s hierarchy — which The Penarazzi believes is based solely on age.
So, Penarazzi readers, keep the noise down and mind your manners because you really don’t want to have anything to BRAG about.